I am not entirely certain what is going on in this world, Draenor, but thank the Celestials for that little goblin Gazlowe. He was able to piggyback off of the wifi signal from Shattrath City. I have it on good authority that Velen is a fan of NAARUGEAR brand routers, which, according to Gazlowe, have a phenomenal broadcast range. And if his password is Velen12345, perhaps he had this coming (note that those were Gazlowe’s words, not mine). Anyway, forgive an old man for rambling and getting away from himself.
Where was I? Oh yes. Draenor. After the well-publicised trial of former Warchief Hellscream and how it went a bit sideways at the end with that Kairoz and Wrathion aiding his escape (a fact that infuriated Lord Zhu to no end), word reached us that the Dark Portal in the Eastern Kingdoms turned red. Now, I may be new to the rest of Azeroth and never saw this portal before it changed colors, but I am mated to a mage. She knows her portals. They are not supposed to change colors for fun. Nor are they supposed to spew orcs using technology from the “True Horde”. After Lord Zhu took his ulcer medication, meditated, and had a nice long smoke of some Silkweed combined with some of my Pureblossom moonshine, he dispatched me to serve in the Vanguard. At the time, I thought it would be an honor to serve and track down Hellscream, perhaps to try and talk some sense into him. And if talking did not work, well, that is what hexing is for. Little did I know, accepting this mission would cause nothing but headaches.
After pushing back the forces of this Horde to the portal, our leader, Khadgar, had us storm through the portal, and I will never forgive Lord Zhu for sending me on this mission. The Sha had been vanquished for good after the Heart of Y’sharrj was destroyed and I had hoped to slink off to a quiet retirement farming, fishing, and spending time with my family. Before I knew it, I was stuck in a jungle in a place I had never been to, nor had ever seen in my life, with a battle raging all around me! Celestials, I had never seen a battle like that before! I had faced off against the Yaungol, Mantid, and the Sha, but never to such a degree of chaos as this battle against orcs. After our demolitionists took time to deactivate the portal, my stomach dropped. For a long time, we were stuck, fighting off this Iron Horde in a humid, sticky jungle, and I feared I would never see my family again. It didn’t take too long for us to find others who had been imprisoned by this Horde who were willing to aid us – slaves mostly, but also the Frostwolf shaman Drek’thar and a draenei exarch, Maladaar. It was fascinating to talk to the both of them, even though we could only converse in broken orcish. While it took some doing, we finally pressed the attack on the Iron Horde, blew up their Dark Portal, and fled for our lives. The survivors of the Alliance Vanguard commandeered one of the Iron Horde boats to flee south to their lands while we took ours to the northwest.
Again, the next time I see Lord Zhu, I will give him a firm smack from my staff. I do not think he knew what this mission would entail, but fleeing with the Frostwolf survivors to the coldest and snowiest place I have ever seen IS NOT WHAT I WOULD CALL A GOOD IDEA! Yes, it is the land of the Frostwolves, but I think it is actually warmer at the top of Mount Neverest! And guess who fell off of the boat when it ran aground on the shoreline? I was a frozen, shivering, wet pandaren while Thrall/Go’el/Frost Shock McStormstrike/whatever he wants to be called this week was droning on and on about seeing the land of his clan. I do not think we were supposed to let on that we were from the future, and he was doing a poor job of keeping his mouth shut. He must have mushan dung for brains. I was regarded as a curiosity among the locals, especially Durotan’s mother. But again, getting ahead of myself.
Speaking of Durotan, he is all right. A little bit of a pacifist with a “wait and see” method of thinking. Must be where Thrall gets it from. His brother, Ga’nar, though, I liked him. He was an orc who knew how to get things done! Thankfully, the Frostwolves were willing to give our surviving army some land to build an outpost. After a few months of construction (and freezing in my small tent), we had a base of operations. I think the cold may have affected some of the soldiers I arrived with. They kept calling me “commander” while there were many more actual Horde members of a much higher rank than I present. I am just here to round up Garrosh and bring him back to the Shado-Pan. I was assigned this task purely because I have contacts within the Horde. Perhaps their intended commander fell in the jungle and I was the one giving orders after? I do not know. I do like having a small outpost all to myself, that much I do know. Even if I catch Thrall stealing my shrimp dumplings out of my bags.
Once I felt secure enough to leave the garrison in Gazlowe’s capable hands, I departed for the Frostwolf village of Wor’gol. I was given an…odd welcome. I must be the first of my kind these orcs have seen. One orc even poked me while another tugged on one of my ears! I couldn’t be too mad at them. They looked no older than young Ruekie. Durotan and Ga’nar’s mother, on the other hand… Apparently not only was I a curiosity to her, being a “talking animal”, but the fact that I am also a shaman fascinated her enough to join me back at my outpost. The Frostwolves are an okay bunch, and I was willing to aid them with their problems. The Bladespire ogres to the north and the Thunderlord clan everywhere else in Frostfire had been giving them all sorts of trouble lately. Besides, the Thunderlord clan, at least, had ties to the Iron Horde, which would get me closer to my goal. As the Frostwolves made their stand against the Thunderlord, however, they lost Ga’nar. It was a noble sacrifice. He leaped into battle to buy Drek’thar time to bury the Thunderlord and cut off Frostfire from other Iron Horde incursions.
That is enough for now. Perhaps at a later time, I will tell of my travels through Gorgrond while aiding the Laughing Skull clan.