Archive | May 2014

It’s Not Better Down Where It’s Wetter

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After my adventures with Wrathion’s errands, I decided to take a little trip to…cool off, so to speak. I thought a nice, relaxing cruise was in order on my way to visit these Eastern Kingdoms to see an undead man about a horse. Sadly, not only did this Huntsman NOT have the horse I sought, out ship was attacked and we capsized just of the coast of Dun Morogh! But the horse story is a tale for another time, I fear.

After we capsized, our little crew was saved by my brothers and sisters in the Earthen Ring. Misfortune, sadly, reared its ugly head again when our safe haven was attacked by the naga. What is up with those naga, anyway? They look so familiar. Like I’ve seen then somewhere before. Perhaps it is just the imagination of an old Pandaren man. We managed to save the rest of our small crew, however, and we made war on the naga. There was a mage among us, skilled in illusion magic, and he cast some sort of spell on me to allow me to infiltrate the naga camps and penetrate their defenses. I am no rogue, but I hope I did my duty admirably. The form, well, it left something to be desired.

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What in the Celestial’s name, Cordrimas? Does he have some secret fetish for the naga?! I never believe I would ever say this, but I tire of magical spells and objects transforming me into women. I was born a male, damn it!

I did take the chance while down there to get more in touch with the element of water. The Water-Speakers were good teachers, however, being so close to the Abyssal Depths was an incredible experience! I had never felt quite so powerful with my healing arts as I did down there. I wish there was a way to bottle that and take it with me! No one seemed to mind my healing, since they were already wet, anyway. I guess I washed the seawater off?

The remnants of the Twilights Hammer seem to continue their tenuous alliance with the naga down there. According to the Earthen Ring, there has been no sign of Neptulon since his mysterious disappearance some time ago. I do hope we find him soon. Who knows what those Twilights and the naga plan to do with him? I would not like to meditate on this.

The wildlife down there is interesting. While it is beautiful, I fear there are too many things down there that would wish to eat me and/or my keg totems. The whale sharks seem passive enough if not provoked, and Nespirah was…different. All of the sharks and odd little sea-goblins were a nuisance, but nothing I could handle with a well-timed chain lightning. By the way, chain lightning underwater? Not a good idea. I believe I shocked myself along with those that would attack me. What bothered me, aside from those deep sea murlocs, was that giant squid, Ozumat. I thought that Dontrag-the-squid off the coast of Towlong was bothersome! Ozumat is about ten times the size of the other and appears to have an appetite for elemental lords, according to the Earthen Ring.

Wait….perhaps that was what happened to Neptulon!

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More EO Parody Madness!

(Thanks to Lorde for the lyrical inspiration! I’ve had this one brewing for a month or so, no pun intended. It just suits the raid scene so well! Real song is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtdK_Y5iZnU)

 

Wait for the ready check
We’ve not yet wiped on this boss tonight
The ‘locks will stay in chains
Look upon Your gear and the raid invite
(The raid invite [x15])

Call all the healers out
They’re in their best gear
A hundred jewels on staves
A hundred jewels between gear
Now bring my tanks in
Their gear all gemmed up to the guides
The guide we love like a brother, while he tells us what to do!

Dance to the left, here comes a cleave!
Dancin’ around AoE casts as well!
Even those sleepin’, well, they don’t kill and tell!

[Chorus]
We live in cities you’ll only see on screen
Life is real pretty and we sure know how to raid things
Living in ruins that we know how to raid without a scream
And you know, we’re on a raid team

I’m kind of over getting told to throw up a Bloodlust in the air, so there
So all the trash got broke, dead beneath our feet but it wasn’t my fault
And everyone’s competing for  gear they won’t receive
‘Cause what this boss wants is release

[Chorus]
We live in cities you’ll only see on screen
Life is real pretty and we sure know how to raid things
Living in ruins that we know how to raid without a scream
And you know, we’re on a raid team

I’m kind of over getting told to throw a Bloodlust in the air
So there
I’m kinda older than I was when I started up this game
So there

[Chorus]
We live in cities you’ll only see on screen
Life is real pretty and we sure know how to raid things
Living in ruins that we know how to raid without a scream
And you know, we’re on a raid team
We’re on a raid team
And you know, we’re on a raid team
We’re on a raid team
And you know, and you know, and you know

A Parody of Sorts…

(Many thanks/love to The Brothers Chaps/They Might Be Giants for this! I heard it on my WinAmp and the parody pretty much wrote itself from there! Official version here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4-kP8Ps8ys)

After all my time exploring the Earth Online world, I came across a crudely animated machinima called “Homestar Runner” and felt this song was ripe for Azerothian parody.

Weeeeelllllll, Mortimer would talk!
And Saurfang would always rock!
And Orgirmmar would be new and would pwn everyone except Mort and me!
(Eitrigg: And me!)
(Garrosh: We’ll see!)
And Tryande would be undeground in a box filled with droods!
(Tyrande: I HATE DRUIDS!)
(Garrosh: I KNOW!)
Baine would give away axes that shoot awesome OP Saurfangs!
And stupid What’s His Face would’ve been born with horns and a tail!
(Lor’themar: MY NAME IS-!)
And Genn would rock this new jacket!
(Genn: 100% Worgen fur!)
And Varian just couldn’t hack it!
(Varian: I quit!)
And Sylvanas would’t change at all except keep plaugin’ up Andorhol!
And this little weirdo (summons up Velen) would turn into a modestly hot girl, to help me through the hard times! Except they’d only be sorta hot so they don’t mess around with other elves!

30 Days of Character Development: Bahunada Darkhide

(Yet more fun with another one of my characters! This one is a bit darker than Shen, so ye be warned!)

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1.) Describe your character’s relationship with their mother or their father, or both. Was it good? Bad? Were they spoiled rotten, ignored? Do they still get along now, or no?

I have always had a tenuous relationship with my parents. Being a Tauren, we have always been raised more as a child of the tribe than a typical family setting. I was raised by the Grimtotems, so draw your conclusions from that. My parents died when Deathwing flooded Thousand Needles, so I do not know if they get along. Wherever they are, I am sure it is far too good for them, though.

2.) What are your character’s most prominent physical features?

My dark fur. It is why I changed my name to Darkhide after leaving the tribe. Although you can still see the stains of the old warpant the Grimtotem favor.

3.) Name one scar your character has, and tell us where it came from. If they don’t have any, is there a reason?

I have far too many to name. Before I ran off, I was one of Magatha’s favorite gladiators. You’re not quite a gladiator if you don’t have scars to prove it.

4.) How vain is your character? Do they find themselves attractive?

What kind of question is this? I’m just lucky I was accepted by the Runetotem tribe after leaving. My appearance, and self-worth tied to said appearance, have no value in my life!

5.) What’s your character’s ranking on the KINSEY SCALE?

What the? I don’t know what this means. You would have to ask my life-mate, Alek on that one.

6.) Describe your character’s happiest memory.

It happens to be a tie between my life-mate ceremony with Alek and adopting her niece as our child.

7.) Is there one event or happening your character would like to erase from their past? Why?

Not at all. If it was not for Magatha’s treachery, I would not be part of the Runetotem tribe, nor mated to my Alek.

8.) Day of Favorites! What’s your character’s favorite ice cream flavor? Color? Song? Flower?

Ice cream? What is that? I like a nice bronze, like my mate’s armor. As for songs, I do love the song that the druids and shaman play with their instruments called Call of the Elements. Have you ever heard it? My favorite flower? Peacebloom. It gives me hope that life will calm for us Tauren someday.

9.) Who does your character trust?

Alek, Chieftan Bloodhoof, and all the members of the Runetotem tribe.

10.) Can you define a turning point in your character’s life? Multiples are acceptable.

The day Magatha rigged the Mak’gora between Garrosh and Cairne. That was what caused me to leave the tribe. I was used to Gladiatorial combat, not survival, and Alek’togia found me. She mentored me on what it means to be a warrior of the Tauren. After my Rite of the Hunt, I was a true member of the Runetotem tribe. A few weeks later, I was her life-mate.

11.) Is there an animal you equate with your character?

The kodo! Mighty, strong, proud, and unwilling to bend or break to another’s will. I think it suits me perfectly.

12.) How is your character with technology? Super savvy, or way behind the times? Letters or email?

I submitted a letter to Warchief Garrosh’s blog once. I do not know if it made it through. As it is, I am telling all of this to a Pandaren Shaman who is writing all of my responses down. I am surprised by the speed of his quill as I talk. I tend to talk quickly.

13.) What does your character’s bed look like when he/she wakes up? Are the covers off on one side of the bed, are they all curled around a pillow, sprawled everywhere? In what position might they sleep?

I would say our “bed” is fairly neat. Alek and I sleep on an arrangement of rugs and skins, and there is little need for blankets in Mulgore. The nights are warm, and they would wind up tangled around our hooves. I usually sleep with my arms around my life-mate, or her arms around me. We seem to wake up that way as well.

14.) How does your character react to temperature changes such as extreme heat and cold?

Extreme heat does not bother me much. Extreme cold does not bother me much either. I may hug my cloak around myself if I were to venture back to Northrend, though. It was very cold up there.

15.) Is your character an early morning bird or a night owl?

I have always been an early riser, due to my Gladiatorial training. Warrior training is not so different. At night, I do not fall asleep right away, especially if Alek is back in our tent with me. There is much I wish to ask her about her travels to Pandaria, plus we have a calf to care for.

16.) Are there any blood relatives that your character is particularly close with, besides the immediate ones? Cousins, Uncles, Grandfathers, Aunts, et cetera. Are there any others that your character practically considers a blood relative?

Are you Magatha, answer seeker? If you are, I will not hesitate to bring your head to Warchief Hellscream on a silver platter! When I forsook the Grimtotem, I forsook the entire tribe. I would hate for you to meet the same fate as they did. Nevertheless, I count the Runetotem, and all who dwell on Thunder Bluff, as family.

17.) What’s your character’s desk/workspace look like? Are they neat or messy?

I do not keep a desk. My armor is placed away with extreme care, hanging just below my axe and out of the way of our young calf’s reach.

18.) Is your character a good cook? What’s their favorite recipe, whether they’re good or not? (Microwave mac-and-cheese applies.)

I can cook a mean roasted kodo steak, and those nice Mag’har in Nagrand taught me how to roast a talbuk and clefthoof in the same manner. They do need more spices, though.

19.) What’s your character’s preferred means of travel?

I prefer to travel on the back of my kodo, or my wyvern. It depends how swiftly I need to reach where I travel. If not, there is always heroic leap and charge to get there on hoof!

20.) Does your character have any irrational fears?

Magatha still haunts my dreams, that she would come in the night and have those loyal to her kill my wife and our calf. I have not told this to anyone before.

21.) What would your character’s CUTIE MARK be?

A totem pole. All the better to smash your head in for asking such a stupid question!

22.) If your character could time travel, where would they go?

No where. I believe life is a gift from the Earth Mother, and who are we to meddle with her plan for us? As a mother, I cannot help but wonder what my sweet little calf will be like when she grows up.

23.) Is your character superstitious?

Super-wha? I do not know what this one means.

24.) What might your character’s ideal romantic partner be?

Someone who could best me in battle! Of course, that honor already goes to my life-mate.

25.) Describe your character’s hands. Are they small, long, calloused, smooth, stubby?

I believe my hands are like any other Tauren’s. Calloused from battle and long (even if others think our three fingers are odd).

26.) Second day of favorites! Favorite comfort food, favorite vice, favorite outfit, favorite hot drink, favorite time of year, and favorite holiday.

My favorite comfort food would be Alek’s Wildfoul Breast. She learned how to make it in Pandaria and it is very tasty! My vice would be fighting! You can take the girl out of the gladiatorial arena, but you can’t take the gladiator out of the girl! My favorite hot drink would be Peacebloom tea. It is very calming. My favorite time of year and holiday correspond. I love winter in Mulgore and I love Winter’s Veil. It was around this time that Alek found me.

27.) Pick two songs that describe your character at two different points of their life, and explain why you chose them.

((More OoC glory! For Huna, I would pick Grizabella the Glamour Cat from CATS while wandering after deserting her tribe and Winter by Joshua Radin for her after her life-mate ceremony and realization she didn’t have to be so angry all the time.))

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28.) If your character’s life was a genre, what would it be?

Clearly it would be an action/drama.

29.) How does your character smell? Do they wear perfume or cologne?

I believe I smell like a Tauren in battle. Steel, sweat, and blood. Although my soap smells nice, like Silverleaf.

30.) And finally: Write a letter to your character, from yourself.

Huna,

Please do not lose yourself to anger. Pandaria is a dangerous place to lose yourself in negative emotions and you have a wife and calf to think of. Remember what Alek told you about. You are a strong woman. Stronger than whatever Magatha has to throw at you.

Huna

Travel Log: Azshara! (Part 1)

I will admit, Azshara was far easier to reach in my travels, just being outside Orgrimmar’s main gate. I cannot fathom what kind of operation is running out there, though. If it was the Shado-Pan running this operation, all of the problems would have been handled permanently (it seriously helps when you have top Pandaren on the payroll). There were Night Elves assaulting the main gate and Goblin shredders running wild out there! Meanwhile, the goblin foreman, Grabbit, was beside himself with the Kor’kron commander yelling at him. Yet another time I wish I did not have my keen sense of smell. Goblin urine…ick! These problems posed little challenge for me, to be quite honest. I even felt a little refreshed when I switched to my Spirit Wolf form and bit some of the Night Elf scouts. Then there were some problems at a nearby mine. I will never understand Goblins.

My next adventure came from a pretty elf woman who asked me to investigate the ghosts around a nearby lake. Being accustomed to spirits, it was another trivial task. Then the elf asked me to become one with one of the spirits. That, I will admit, I am less comfortable with.

ImageI do not believe this is what I signed up for when I started my travels. I was so…SKINNY! And no fur! But it was for a good cause. The elf asked me to discover what had happened at the lake. It turns out that these ghosts were students at an old Highborne school, protecting their outpost from the Burning Legion and they paid for it with their lives. A more noble undertaking, I cannot imagine.

After shaking off the unsettling feeling of becoming an undead elf, I decided to do some exploration of the area. Did you know that the Goblins have their own resort out there?! With a swimming hole and everything! I could not pass up the temptation for a little rest and relaxation, so I decided to stop there for the day. I will have more later, after I sleep off these drinks… They kept refilling my little coconut cup with rum. How could I resist?

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A Most Strange Occurance…

(Apologies to Averry over at the Warchief’s Command Board for this post. I blame all those late-night WoW sessions for this!)

I had the most unusual encounter last week in the Undercity. As you know, last week was Children’s Week, so I decided to venture forth and adopt my own orphan orc for the week. It was a wonderful journey, full of fun and adventure. Then, Grunth asked me to take him to the Undercity to meet with the Banshee Queen. Never having been there myself, I agreed. Oh, Celestials, the stench in that place! It is times like this I wish I did not have the keen nose I have!

However, I am distracting myself. While Grunth rushed up to talk to Sylvanas, who was treating everyone to an impromptu concert, a female Draenei leaped into view just as I was about to snap a picture of our visit on one of those Goblin devices!

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She introduced herself as Shayari, then asked me if I liked her hat. Now, I may be new to this whole “two factions at war” thing, but I find it highly suspect that a female Draenei was running around the Undercity, with the Warchief’s axe no less! She also asked, if I were to post this here, that she promises to return the axe once she was done dealing with an orc named Bragor. He apparently made some sort of remark about her that was unseemly, so she “borrowed” the axe to deal with him. I do not question her motives, but I cannot blame her for her reaction. If it were my Sunny those remarks were made to, I would have deep-fried him with lightning and returned the ashes to Orgrimmar via Fourth Rate Goblin post!